What's the Deal?! Doubt and other thoughts on a long run.

I go into my long runs feeling excited and happy to being able to run all over the place. I like to do my long runs on the Centennial Trail and seeing all the different types of people who use the trail. It's fun to me to say hi and wave to anyone who returns the same greeting or even just eye contact and a smile or nod, but sometimes they don't and that's ok. They must be focused on other things at task or life. Saturday I end up running off the trail at some point and zig zagging my way around on streets and up a few hills. It give me a different scenery.

I enjoy these long runs with my music and with my purpose. I have a goal and that is to have a Boston Qualifying (BQ) time at the Yakima River Canyon Marathon. I had my standing PR (personal record or personal best time) there last year. I tried so hard last year but came 6 minutes short.

This year I feel better with my runs. I feel better with my recovery. I have a coach to keep me in line and the make sure I stay focused and don't stray. Really, you do Mary if you know it or not. Just subtle hints help me.

About 12 miles into my run I let my mind get away from me. The doubt started to creep in. Doubt that I could BQ in four weeks. Doubt that I could run that far at the pace I wanted and needed. Thoughts on if I'm running enough. Or fast enough. I knew it was going to hurt and that did not bother me. I am tough!

I realized after about 1 mile of this chatter in my brain that that is all it was. I started thi king positive thoughts. Thinking of people who inspire me. The last book I had read was about Mathew Long, a NYC firefighter that was also a runner and Ironman. He got hit by a bus and it took him three years to run a marathon again. Even though it took him over seven hours to complete he did not give up. I WILL not give up and I WILL BQ!

Gripe: I really hate it when I am told that I should not be doing something or that the race I'm doing is too hard to BQ on!Last year I even had someone say that I will never get to Boston! (I've gotten over with and made peace with that ill thought out comment) Whatever! This just spurs me to be stronger and faster. I love CrossFit. I have never been stronger or healthier. I recover quickly. I run and play and do things that I have never been able to do before. CrossFit makes me happy. I will never give it up. I will never be a gym rat.

I am tough!